The Brucheum
Absolutivity

I don't believe in Einstein's theory of Relativity by the way. I think it's stupid. It makes no sense. It appears that time and motion have some sort of affect on each other, but that's all it is, appearance, a perception. Just because the police car siren seems to make a strange whooping sound as it passes by your particular location is only a commentary on your individual perception, not the inherent nature of the police siren itself. What arrogance! What a perfect commentary on the selfish, egotistical nature of man that we can base our entire physical theory of the nature of the universe on a subjective, individualistic parlor trick.

The notion that you're going to live longer, by millions of centuries if you sit inside a spacecraft traveling faster than the speed of light, not only is stupid, it makes no sense. First of all, it is highly unlikely that three dimensional physical matter existing in sequential space time, which is what we are, can travel anywhere close to the speed of light. If we did we might cease to exist as matter and become something more like pure energy, which is great, but for us, existing as physical matter, preferably with large sex organs, is what it's all about.

But if you could travel at hundreds of times the speed of light, and it took you five earth years to go somewhere cool, and then five Earth years to get back, but you and the people you left behind would all be ten years older next Thanksgiving. And ten years closer to death I might add. Why, because in the preceding sentence I just said Earth years. And throughout the whole sentence you remained an Earth like, air breathing, urine evacuating human being. And traveling in a plane relatively faster than somebody else has nothing to do with anything.

Einstein, Time Magazine's Man of the Millennium, was an idiot. He had one "spaced out" theory in his youth that "appears" to be observable. He then proceeded to spend the rest of his life failing to come up with an explanation that could tie As Above with So Below, the quantum with the cosmic, even though the ancients had already apparently managed to do so

I don't believe in Relativity, but then again I don't believe in gravity.